


holy shit not another love story

by earthinelven (orphan_account)



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bottom Peter Parker, Bottom Peter Parker/Top Wade Wilson, Cuddling & Snuggling, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 08:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/earthinelven
Summary: Love, I know right, where do you even find that kinda shit? In a porno, in a deliciously smothered chimichanga? Yes and yes. But also, love sometimes comes from mysterious places like the skies of New York city for example, where a regular old mercenary happens to catch a regular falling spider. Bromance insues(Peter is 20 in dis chill)





	1. Chapter 1

God damn New York city weather, first it's hailing rock hard ice nuts, then its fuckin colder than witch tits and then BAM! A grown ass man-spider comes hurling down from the sky, crashing into your (admittedly already messed up) bod, and doing a real good job of feeding you a nice, rural city flavored cement sandwich. 

Nevertheless, things like this were a walk in the park when you were the infamous Deadpool, and in a short couple of minutes every shattered tooth and broken rib rejuvenated and Wade Wilson once again became the same old, healthy piece of Canadian man meat everyone knows and loves. 

“Fuckin weatherman always forgets to mention the high chance of free falling asshole,” Wade groaned into the sidewalk, choking on a thick glob of blood for a second before sitting up and spitting the revolting bodily fluid out (there may or may have not been some teeth mixed in) and cursing god in the process.  
“well butter my nuts and call me a biscuit.. that's a real Spiderman right there” He continued monologuing to absolutely nobody, save for an unconscious Peter Parker. Looking over the superhero, Wade remembered that unlike himself, regular wearers of spandex do indeed take fall damage.

After standing up and popping his dislocated spine into place with a stretch and a curse word, Wade carefully picked up the boy bridal style (he was classy like that) and headed towards somewhere safer than the city streets. Because even though Peter Parker so graciously blessed him with the smashing gift of his deadweight body, Wade concluded that; 1. he most likely didn't mean to, 2. was having a breathtakingly fucked up day, and 3. Just needed a bro to help him out, and man was Deadpool the broest bro needed for that job.  
And that, children, is where our story begins so sit back, relax and take your bra off because this is gonna be the most bromantic shit you’ll ever experience


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This took a hot minute to finish cause life happens, but hey its here now so ;)

Peter awoke with a start, though his body was so numb he couldn't do more than use his head to look around. He definitely wasn't at his place, it smelled different, like rugged man cologne and a little like blood (curse his acute senses)  
He tensed, his eyebrows furrowing in attempts to remember what the hell had happened to him; he remembered fighting a villian, as Spiderman does, and remembers stretching out his arm to release a web and then … nothing. 

After a few moments of deep silence, Peter heard the familiar flush of a toilet and some seemingly cheerful whistling, then out walked a tall, broad man clad in red spandex; Peter thought he was the only one who wore those. 

“Good Morning sweet cheeks! Your head feeling screwed on right?” The man said, voice slightly muffled from the mask in which he wore. Now that Peter had a better look at him, he did remember frequently seeing this strange assassin on the local News channel and sometimes in dark alleyways at 3am when he himself was on the job, though he never thought to approach him. 

“Not really … where am I?” Peter asked, his voice crooked. 

“Id say heaven, but that's a little too cocky even by my standards, we’re just at my place. I'm Deadpool by the way, delighted to be of your assistance” This man, Deadpool said, unsheathing two brutal looking katanas from his back and inspecting the blood coated blades.

“This shit is so hard to clean, let me tell you-”

“Deadpool? Like the bloodthirsty mercenary Deadpool?” 

“You really hit it on the head with that one Webby, I bet you're the smartest kid at school” Deadpool said with ease, carelessly tossing his weapons onto the kitchen table. 

“I .. graduated two years ago.” Peter spoke, only slightly offended at the other’s very apparent sarcasm.

“Oh goodie, you're legal!” The mercenary laughed, walking over to the pullout bed in which Peter laid and crouched beside him, Peter wondered what face belonged to this very strange character. 

“So I bet you're wondering why you're here, which is understandable. So I’ll lay it down for yah, I was taking an enthusiastic walk through Times Square when from the heavens flies you Spiderman, and if it wasn't for my very convientent immortal body youd be a Spidey-pancake right now. Kapeesh?” He finished, the smell of gunpowder wafting off of him in waves; Peter felt sick. 

“I fell because my web wouldn't release ... “ Peter sighed dramatically, genuinely confused and upset. While Deadpool on the other hand, let out a comical snort.

“so you suffered from a … ewebtile disfunction” 

Peter wouldve punched him if he had the ability. 

“I fuckin guess so.” He breathed out angrily, looking away from this strangers masked face. He felt unsuited to be a superhero, he wouldnt be alive if it wasnt for this stupid Deadpond or whatever his name was.

“Dont let it get you down buddy, everyone messes up sometimes.” The mercenary said suprisingly emotionally, it made Peters chest feel funny. 

“Yeah .. so, since you basically saved my whole life and existence, could I at least look into the eyes of my savior to express my gratitude” Peter started, his voice still raw from being passed out for so long. Deadpool staggered at this, became tense, before taking in a deep breath. 

“woah, mr poetry over here … just dont get your hopes up, im not exactly prince charming” His tone was rather sad, and as he straightened up, his gloved hands firmly grasped the back of his mask and pulled up. Peter watched, transfixed as more and more skin was revealed until soon he stated at the bare face, the human face, of the infamous Deadpool. 

“May I also know your name? Your real name that is” Peter said, noticing the other man’s confusion at the fact that he didnt comment on his appearance. Cause what Peter saw wasnt horrifying or gross, what Peter saw was the scars and markings of a survivor of something fucking horrible and he felt strangely emotional about this fact. 

“Wade. Its Wade Wilson” 

“Well, Wade Wilson. I would like to thank you for saving my life… your eyes are beautiful by the way.” Peter said, gazing into his pale blue eyes which gleamed like that of moonstone. He didn't even feel weirded out by the fact that he just called another man’s features beautiful. 

“Well shit, your gonna make me melt. I'd be happy to break my spine for you again Webs” Wade said, his expression a mix of shocked and appreciative. 

“You broke your spine!?” Peter gasped,

“and about fourteen teeth yeah.” Wade finished, his regular cocky voice flowing back fast. Peter hadn't really thought about what would happen when a full grown ass man falls from six stories high onto a single human being. 

“I definitely owe you a drink or ten dont I?” Peter said, growing more and more fond of this guy by the minute.

“if youd feel so inclined, yes. But dont sweat it dude, your on like, a bazillion painkillers right now if you tried to drink, let alone move, youd probably die.” 

“Wow, way to be real with me dude” Peter laughed, suddenly very aware of the drugs pumping through his system, no wonder he thought this random ass dude was handsome and witty, he was high as balls. (Not to mention the fact that if he wasn't on pain meds, the only thing he'd be feeling was a load of hurt)

“That's what I do best .. but now it's time for you to be real with me. Do I-uh .. do my looks make you think of something demented like Freddy Krueger or some shit like that? Like, am I scary?” Wade said, his gaze locked on the floor in front of him, this question evoked something weird in Peter, and he felt so overwhelmingly mystified by the fact this this ultra-confident, independent, badass guy felt so insecure about something. 

“I never watched those movies, they seem pointless to me… and I think you look damaged yes, but scary? No, not at all.” Ok- not exactly the right choice of words ‘damaged’ really? 

Wade gave him a weary little half smile, it looked incredibly forced, before he gave Peters leg a pat. 

“Alright I'll quit chattin’ you up and let you get some rest okay? Those Spidey senses should kick in soon with some R&R.” And with that Wade stood, turning his back and walking out of the room before Peter could reply. His absence made Peter uncomfortable, he felt they didn't end on the right note, but what did he know? His brain was incredibly doped up. 

He closed his eyes and drifted into sleep.


End file.
